


Grinch

by ladydragon76



Series: PrimeScream Advent Challenge 2014 [7]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M, Rating: PG-13, character: optimus prime, character: starscream, genre: crack, genre: humor, verse: g1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 15:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2736998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Nope.  Just nope.  Starscream ain’t doin’ it.  No.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grinch

**Author's Note:**

> **‘Verse:** G1  
>  **Series:** PrimeScream Advent Challenge 2014  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Characters:** Optimus Prime/Starscream  
>  **Warnings:** None  
>  **Notes:** Written for Day 7 of the [PrimeScream Advent Challenge 2014](http://primescream.livejournal.com/54440.html). Prompt is ‘Stealing Christmas/the Grinch’.

He didn’t know how it had happened and he didn’t care. And Optimus could frag right off. Starscream was _not_ a toy, and he was _not_ going to pretend to be one, _not_ even if he was only six inches tall.

“It’s _Christmas_!” Optimus pleaded, hurrying after Starscream as he shed curly ribbon and wrapping paper.

No, _not_ even on slagging Christmas!

“It could be Primus’ frelling unfurling day celebration and it wouldn’t keep me here,” Starscream snapped, voice annoyingly pitched even higher with his vocalizer also shrunk down.

“But what will that man think when his children open all their gifts and we’re not here?”

Starscream jumped up, grabbed a branch and swung himself over another brightly wrapped gift. “I don’t care.”

“The children will be so disappointed! Starscream, stop!”

Tiny red optics narrowed, and Starscream whipped around to face Optimus. “No. _And_ the children don’t know about us yet.”

“You’re being… a… a Grinch!” Optimus snapped, arms crossing over his chest.

Primus, but Optimus was really into this whole Christmas thing. Starscream sighed, reaching for diplomacy he rarely employed. “Which is worse, Optimus? Leave now and let the adult wonder if he misplaced us after wrapping us up, or let his brats see us, be amazed by us, then disappear on them?”

Optimus blinked, hesitated a moment, then said, “Humans don’t live _that_ long.”

Wings swept up, high and rigid, and Starscream stared with his hands balled into fists for a few seconds before deciding the only proper response to that was a belligerent hiss. Then tiny thrusters clicked over the sequins of a snowman on the tree skirt. He was almost free. There was a doggie door leading out to the backyard, he’d seen it before being rolled up in that fragging _glittery_ paper. Shove through that, launch, fly back to the _Ark_ and haunt the science team until he was fixed. Optimus could stay here and be a farking toy if he wanted. Starscream had better things to do. Like rip down all the decorations and return the gifts he’d bought his idiot mate for the stupid human holiday!

Bah-fragging-humbug!

… No wait, that was the other big Christmas story, wasn’t it?

Slag it all, Starscream thought.

He was still struggling with the doggie door when Optimus caught up.

**Author's Note:**

> **([Table of Contents](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/6214.html) )**


End file.
